When I was little, I think I may have stood out as a bit odd. I don’t know this for sure, but I think about how I perceive things now and what I recall about my perceptions then and I have a feeling I may have raised a few eyebrows. Not necessarily in a bad way, but I think I was pretty independent and I remember thinking the adults with various activities I was involved with were fairly irrelevant and I just did my own thing anyway. I always loved to somehow be distinct. Puh-lease do not lump me in as just another kid!!
At school, in Kindergarten, I recall wanting to be friends with everyone – even the kids that stuck out as being different. A little girl who wore a patch on her eye, another one who smelled bad b/c of an incontinence issue – I had no social clue that I wasn’t supposed to befriend these people. I stuck up for them when others would push them down. I later learned better. As I went through school, I quickly realized if you befriend the kids that others have decided should remain friendless, you too won’t have much going for you socially.
I eventually learned the system and worked to keep my mouth shut and cheer on the cool kids though I don’t know if I ever reached the status of cool for myself.
What is it that is inside a kid SO STRONG that they FIGHT to be different – to somehow stand out from the crowd, then what is it again, that this same child a few years later will then FIGHT to blend in. PUH-LEASE let me blend in!!!
I fought this all through school and even into adult-hood. I recall being with groups of young ladies who knew the hair to have, where to buy their jeans and all about Doc Martens. I don’t know what part of my genetic make-up made it so difficult for me to follow these conversations. They just did not come naturally.
Obviously now, many years later, I’m generally okay in my skin. The insecurities are not non-existent, but I realize the things that make me unique are not necessarily bad. I have also realized that all those people who seemed to have all their ducks lined in a certain direction that I didn’t quite understand – may also not have understood it all either. They are also unique. Some just manage to hide it better than others!!
Why do we want to hide our uniqueness? Why do we desperately want to blend? I guess for many it feels safe. I knew if I was on the side of the bigger, stronger person socially, I likely wouldn’t be on the other end – getting the brunt of their own insecurities needing to pick on someone else. That approach is not fool proof however; I was on that receiving end plenty!
I look at my own kids! They each have a fire burning so bright!! I WANT them to be unique and I want them to CELEBRATE that!!! I celebrate that WITH them! I hope they never give up sticking up for the underdog like I unfortunately did. But I also do understand the realities of life and know they may also end up playing both sides of that coin.
When I got engaged, 13 years ago, an uncle commented to me “Well, you always did march to the beat of your own drummer”. I didn’t realize getting engaged was so out there! I’m still amused by that comment b/c almost 13 years later; I have no complaints & no regrets. I still wonder why he thought it was so out there???
When I tell people I am interested in speaking up for those who have no voice, I get differing reactions. So many are positive!!! But so many are not – sticking up for the underdog is not generally the cool thing to do.
I have a feeling I’m marching to my own drummer again!! I’m actually pretty okay with that this time. But what I’m coming to notice is that the rhythm is actually pretty strong. I look around and see what others are doing, and I see so many admirable people ALSO fighting this same fight.
I don’t really feel like an odd kid anymore. And even if I did, does it really matter?
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Did you see the news?
I didn't, but a good friend sent me this link.
http://abcnews.go.com/International/ben-affleck-cindy-mccain-team-congo/story?id=13077119
Please watch the 3 videos at this link.
In the second video, Ben is asked, "Why should people watch you talk about this?" Ben's answer "Because people are dying, REALLY dying, and have been for a long time.... I don't know that I can make any better of an argument why people should pay attention to this."
I love it when people in power use their power for something sooooo positive.
I read the comments attached to this story - at the time there were 21 of them. I think for every positive one, there were 3 negative ones. Largely focusing on Ben & Cindy's hypocrisy to help people in a different country while their own country has needs. The response was largely that the USA is broke, therefore they can't afford to help. How sad.
I watched those videos and I was moved. I was silently cheering for Ben & Cindy. We share the same heart, but while a hundred or so people may read my posts here, their impact has the ability to stretch hugely far!!! Therefore I guess it stands to reason that for every negative, unsupportive comment I get (and there have been a few - I need a thicker skin!)Their aid is witnessed by thousands, if not more - so a few more negative comments for them.
I'm not saying we should ignore the hurt in our own country. Poverty rears it's ugly head absolutely everywhere. My husband goes to work everyday here and works right in the midst of poverty in our city. I am so proud of him. The life stories he hears and the struggles he witnesses are hugely devastating. He is someone who works to bring hope & healing. It is his heart's passion and caring comes naturally to him.
I share that passion, but my humanitarian heart is in Africa. However - I also care for local people, how can I hear about my husband's day at work and NOT care?
I'm glad one commenter on that site was able to set the record straight and inform the others of all the fabulous things Ben IS doing on home soil. This guy is not just looking overseas and ignoring what's close at hand. The criticism for his large house & fancy toys was in turn, hypocritical. If he gives up a portion of his salary to humanitarian efforts, he still has some left over (being that his salary is larger than the average person's, it may still seem like he's holding onto so much), but in perspective, what if WE were to give up the same percentage of our own incomes? Not saying we should and not pestering anyone to do this, just for argument's sake. These people who are critical have every option to do that, but do they? Proportionally, Ben gets more attention. He makes more, therefore he can give more. But before these critics get too comfy on their high horse, perhaps they should consider if THEY could give more & be doing more.
Too many people think b/c they are not in a position of power or make so much money that they have nothing to contribute, so they just don't. It's not all about money. Time is huge! If people in your city are in need, dig around and find out what you can do.
In that book I just read "Half the Sky", someone the authors interview said that they would much prefer someone spending the money to physically COME see what they are doing, over just sending a cheque. They said the dividend of someone knowing first hand what is going on has WAY more overall impact.
Ben & Cindy go. They go often and they don't go empty handed. Can anyone really criticize that? They looked around, saw organizations that were working hard, doing great things and they came alongside, rolled up their sleeves and said put us to work.
I can't ignore that.
http://abcnews.go.com/International/ben-affleck-cindy-mccain-team-congo/story?id=13077119
Please watch the 3 videos at this link.
In the second video, Ben is asked, "Why should people watch you talk about this?" Ben's answer "Because people are dying, REALLY dying, and have been for a long time.... I don't know that I can make any better of an argument why people should pay attention to this."
I love it when people in power use their power for something sooooo positive.
I read the comments attached to this story - at the time there were 21 of them. I think for every positive one, there were 3 negative ones. Largely focusing on Ben & Cindy's hypocrisy to help people in a different country while their own country has needs. The response was largely that the USA is broke, therefore they can't afford to help. How sad.
I watched those videos and I was moved. I was silently cheering for Ben & Cindy. We share the same heart, but while a hundred or so people may read my posts here, their impact has the ability to stretch hugely far!!! Therefore I guess it stands to reason that for every negative, unsupportive comment I get (and there have been a few - I need a thicker skin!)Their aid is witnessed by thousands, if not more - so a few more negative comments for them.
I'm not saying we should ignore the hurt in our own country. Poverty rears it's ugly head absolutely everywhere. My husband goes to work everyday here and works right in the midst of poverty in our city. I am so proud of him. The life stories he hears and the struggles he witnesses are hugely devastating. He is someone who works to bring hope & healing. It is his heart's passion and caring comes naturally to him.
I share that passion, but my humanitarian heart is in Africa. However - I also care for local people, how can I hear about my husband's day at work and NOT care?
I'm glad one commenter on that site was able to set the record straight and inform the others of all the fabulous things Ben IS doing on home soil. This guy is not just looking overseas and ignoring what's close at hand. The criticism for his large house & fancy toys was in turn, hypocritical. If he gives up a portion of his salary to humanitarian efforts, he still has some left over (being that his salary is larger than the average person's, it may still seem like he's holding onto so much), but in perspective, what if WE were to give up the same percentage of our own incomes? Not saying we should and not pestering anyone to do this, just for argument's sake. These people who are critical have every option to do that, but do they? Proportionally, Ben gets more attention. He makes more, therefore he can give more. But before these critics get too comfy on their high horse, perhaps they should consider if THEY could give more & be doing more.
Too many people think b/c they are not in a position of power or make so much money that they have nothing to contribute, so they just don't. It's not all about money. Time is huge! If people in your city are in need, dig around and find out what you can do.
In that book I just read "Half the Sky", someone the authors interview said that they would much prefer someone spending the money to physically COME see what they are doing, over just sending a cheque. They said the dividend of someone knowing first hand what is going on has WAY more overall impact.
Ben & Cindy go. They go often and they don't go empty handed. Can anyone really criticize that? They looked around, saw organizations that were working hard, doing great things and they came alongside, rolled up their sleeves and said put us to work.
I can't ignore that.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Would you shave your head for something you believed in?
Crazy question! But I’m serious. Help me figure this out.
When I first read Lisa Shannon’s book, I was struck by the ways I could help – listed in the ACT section of the “A Thousand Sister’s” website. One way listed was to support a woman (or more) through Women for Women International. Check that off – done! Another way is to sponsor a run with “Run for Congo Women”. Eek! I’m not a runner, but the thought has now crossed my mind – I’ll come back to that.
Another way was to purchase the video “The Greatest Silence” and host informational screenings. The purpose here is to increase awareness. If after seeing the video, someone is moved to sponsoring their own sister – Great! If they can just donate to the cause or join with someone else to share a sister – Fantastic! If they just walk away, knowing more about the struggles of African women and their heart is just a little bit changed – Super! Every little bit of support & awareness goes a long way here. The silence is just too much; I really just want to help people know what’s up.
In honesty, I’ve prolonged the purchase of the video. It was in the back of my brain “Okay, $29.95, I MUST purchase that!!” But in reality, I’ve been a bit chicken. Putting myself out there besides for a (sort of) anonymous blog, doing something real – is scary. I don’t want to offend people, I don’t want to make them uncomfortable, but I do want people to know the realities of what is going on in Africa. I believe most, like me, have some idea, but no real comprehension of the scope of what is going on – nor the avenues that exist to help.
As I mentioned earlier, I have connected with a fellow here who was born in Nigeria and is now committed to helping African women get a hand up. My conversation with him was inspiring and I shared with him how I came to be interested in this humanitarian effort. He was not familiar with Lisa Shannon and as I explained to him what HER role has been, he said “Hey, let’s get her up here!” I thought FANTASTIC! And I proceeded to investigate what that would all entail.
So, I finally hooked up this morning with the agency that sets up Lisa’s speaking engagements. Phew! She does not come cheap!!! Now, in her defense, the cost likely;
A) Weeds out less than serious inquiries
B) Pays the salary of herself & other employees with her organization (Humanitarian efforts don’t pay the dividend that someone has the heart to give)
The fellow I chatted with said we’d also need to cover her travel expenses, but then he did add that she travels economy fare. I think I like this lady! She keeps it real.
The guy also said that this would be Lisa’s first Canadian speaking engagement and that Canada definitely is quieter on the African humanitarian front. That Canadians just don’t seem to have the interest in getting involved that our southern neighbours do. Hmmm. In defense of Canadians, it made me wonder how much many of them really KNOW about the issues. I am CERTAIN that if more knowledge was out there, the apathy he suggested exists would not be such a reality.
I figured, okay, enough is enough. Time to get off my BUTT and order that video and spread the word. I had ideas of contacting churches, colleges, anyone that would allow me to screen the video and do a short presentation. The word WOULD get out.
So, I went to the website to order my copy of the video this morning and wouldn’t you know. The video itself is $29.95, but shipping to Canada is $40. AND if I have any intention of showing it in a venue larger than a home, I need to purchase the $295 version. Sigh.
That felt defeating. Back to the drawing board. *Think * think* think*
In comes my hair.
I am what you would call low maintenance. Really, I just can’t be bothered, and really, who can afford to dress all nifty all the time anyways? But I did do a little splurge in early Feb. I got my hair all chopped off (I think the lady took off about 14 inches!) and I got some schmancy highlights. I gulped at the cost, but my hubby and I had discussed it. We had also discussed maintenance costs. Naturally, I’m going a bit grey – the tradeoff for having such dark hair – grey shows up earlier than on my blondie, older sister!!
But now I’m thinking, if I didn’t have my hair, there’s nothing to maintain!! Extreme? Perhaps, but the cost of maintaining my highlights for a few months covers the cost of the pricey video package.
I balk though b/c as I’ve said; this blog can go a little bit under the radar. I don’t tell everyone I’m doing it (although my fb friends will see the occasional link whenever I put up a new post). A baldy head is a little more difficult to hide. Will likely start a few conversations (likely me reassuring people I do not have cancer). But maybe new conversations would be a good thing?
I’m never sure how people will react when I say I’m interested in supporting the African Humanitarian efforts. Lots of people get a very blank look on their face and opt to change the subject. So, do I risk making such a bold statement? I’m still thinking on it. Innately, I am a bit of a chicken. I kid you not. Class 1 wimp here!!!
So, if you’ve been reading, I DO want your comments to this post. Am I being a little ridiculous?? What would you do?
Link;
www.thegreatestsilence.org
After receiving some feedback in my inbox, I'm editing this post to add that I think I communicated somewhat poorly (to a point) in my post. The shaving head thing is more about making a conscientious decision to prioritize what I feel is important. $300 extra did not find it's way into our account this week, and things are tight, yet somehow I can justify getting my hair done. My brain is working to hash this out.
I don't want to do it to start conversations, more to symbolically (for me) take it out of the equation. But I do know walking around with a bald (then extremely short hair) head for a time would garner some attention I'm not sure I am ready for.
When I first read Lisa Shannon’s book, I was struck by the ways I could help – listed in the ACT section of the “A Thousand Sister’s” website. One way listed was to support a woman (or more) through Women for Women International. Check that off – done! Another way is to sponsor a run with “Run for Congo Women”. Eek! I’m not a runner, but the thought has now crossed my mind – I’ll come back to that.
Another way was to purchase the video “The Greatest Silence” and host informational screenings. The purpose here is to increase awareness. If after seeing the video, someone is moved to sponsoring their own sister – Great! If they can just donate to the cause or join with someone else to share a sister – Fantastic! If they just walk away, knowing more about the struggles of African women and their heart is just a little bit changed – Super! Every little bit of support & awareness goes a long way here. The silence is just too much; I really just want to help people know what’s up.
In honesty, I’ve prolonged the purchase of the video. It was in the back of my brain “Okay, $29.95, I MUST purchase that!!” But in reality, I’ve been a bit chicken. Putting myself out there besides for a (sort of) anonymous blog, doing something real – is scary. I don’t want to offend people, I don’t want to make them uncomfortable, but I do want people to know the realities of what is going on in Africa. I believe most, like me, have some idea, but no real comprehension of the scope of what is going on – nor the avenues that exist to help.
As I mentioned earlier, I have connected with a fellow here who was born in Nigeria and is now committed to helping African women get a hand up. My conversation with him was inspiring and I shared with him how I came to be interested in this humanitarian effort. He was not familiar with Lisa Shannon and as I explained to him what HER role has been, he said “Hey, let’s get her up here!” I thought FANTASTIC! And I proceeded to investigate what that would all entail.
So, I finally hooked up this morning with the agency that sets up Lisa’s speaking engagements. Phew! She does not come cheap!!! Now, in her defense, the cost likely;
A) Weeds out less than serious inquiries
B) Pays the salary of herself & other employees with her organization (Humanitarian efforts don’t pay the dividend that someone has the heart to give)
The fellow I chatted with said we’d also need to cover her travel expenses, but then he did add that she travels economy fare. I think I like this lady! She keeps it real.
The guy also said that this would be Lisa’s first Canadian speaking engagement and that Canada definitely is quieter on the African humanitarian front. That Canadians just don’t seem to have the interest in getting involved that our southern neighbours do. Hmmm. In defense of Canadians, it made me wonder how much many of them really KNOW about the issues. I am CERTAIN that if more knowledge was out there, the apathy he suggested exists would not be such a reality.
I figured, okay, enough is enough. Time to get off my BUTT and order that video and spread the word. I had ideas of contacting churches, colleges, anyone that would allow me to screen the video and do a short presentation. The word WOULD get out.
So, I went to the website to order my copy of the video this morning and wouldn’t you know. The video itself is $29.95, but shipping to Canada is $40. AND if I have any intention of showing it in a venue larger than a home, I need to purchase the $295 version. Sigh.
That felt defeating. Back to the drawing board. *Think * think* think*
In comes my hair.
I am what you would call low maintenance. Really, I just can’t be bothered, and really, who can afford to dress all nifty all the time anyways? But I did do a little splurge in early Feb. I got my hair all chopped off (I think the lady took off about 14 inches!) and I got some schmancy highlights. I gulped at the cost, but my hubby and I had discussed it. We had also discussed maintenance costs. Naturally, I’m going a bit grey – the tradeoff for having such dark hair – grey shows up earlier than on my blondie, older sister!!
But now I’m thinking, if I didn’t have my hair, there’s nothing to maintain!! Extreme? Perhaps, but the cost of maintaining my highlights for a few months covers the cost of the pricey video package.
I balk though b/c as I’ve said; this blog can go a little bit under the radar. I don’t tell everyone I’m doing it (although my fb friends will see the occasional link whenever I put up a new post). A baldy head is a little more difficult to hide. Will likely start a few conversations (likely me reassuring people I do not have cancer). But maybe new conversations would be a good thing?
I’m never sure how people will react when I say I’m interested in supporting the African Humanitarian efforts. Lots of people get a very blank look on their face and opt to change the subject. So, do I risk making such a bold statement? I’m still thinking on it. Innately, I am a bit of a chicken. I kid you not. Class 1 wimp here!!!
So, if you’ve been reading, I DO want your comments to this post. Am I being a little ridiculous?? What would you do?
Link;
www.thegreatestsilence.org
After receiving some feedback in my inbox, I'm editing this post to add that I think I communicated somewhat poorly (to a point) in my post. The shaving head thing is more about making a conscientious decision to prioritize what I feel is important. $300 extra did not find it's way into our account this week, and things are tight, yet somehow I can justify getting my hair done. My brain is working to hash this out.
I don't want to do it to start conversations, more to symbolically (for me) take it out of the equation. But I do know walking around with a bald (then extremely short hair) head for a time would garner some attention I'm not sure I am ready for.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Book Report – Half The Sky
By Nicholas D. Kristof and Cheryl Wudunn
I spent most of this weekend at the hospital. Not because I was sick, but b/c I was volunteering for research. Sound ick? It was a bit actually. I spent 3 days giving blood, doing breathing tests (I’m asthmatic, that was what the study was about) and doing a bunch of other tests. The middle day had loads of wait time. I had to inhale something that would trigger an attack, then wait various intervals of time for them to gauge my lung capacity and breath force. Towards the end of the day, I was giving one big lungful of breath through a tube, then having to wait an hour to do it over again. So! I read a whole book!
If I am recalling it accurately, I do believe I first learned of this book off the “A Thousand Sister’s” fb page. It was touted as a must read, so I reserved it at the library and had it in my hands a week later. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. (I’m the type who will rent movies or get books based on recommendations – I tend not to watch previews. Thus, I am often very surprised by content – both good and sometimes not so great)
The sub title on the front cover is “Turning oppression into opportunity for Women worldwide”. It covers many extremely difficult topics. Some I was vaguely familiar with, others I had heard about, but didn’t really know what was involved and then others that I was actually surprised about – b/c I had no clue the issue existed.
Consider the cost of allowing half a country’s human resources to go untapped. An African proverb states – “If you teach a boy, you educate an individual; if you teach a girl, you educate a community” The issues discussed in this book have for too long been just referred to as “Women’s Issues”. However, they do not only affect women. There are entire cultures that are involved in the imbalanced view that women are somehow less valuable than men. Weren’t we all created equal? A Chinese proverb states that women hold up half the sky.
This book covers issues such as child trafficking for the sex industry, rape, honour killings, Female genital cutting, beatings, child marriage, maternal mortality and others. Tying in with psychologist findings stating that people will have a greater capacity to care when they are introduced to individuals, the authors pull in story after story accompanied by photos of the girls & women we are told about. The stories are disturbing and this is not a light hearted read by any extent. The conditions described are beyond sad. However, there is light.
This book is also full of HOPE! While so many of the stories of these individuals do not suggest anything good may exist in the midst, it really does. For each of these oppressive journeys, we are also meeting so people who have come along side them. Many of these people are exactly like you and me. They read something, or saw something that moved them to action. Many of these things started small, but gradually grew. Mahatma Gandi was quoted “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”
There are men & women who have dedicated themselves to freeing women in this world. Change is slow – especially when entire cultures are involved, but baby steps are worth celebrating. And, for the women who have been helped, their lives are forever changed for the better.
Women are being empowered to stand up for themselves, learn their rights and a skill. Countries that have embraced this are thriving.
This book explains approaches that have been effective, and reflects upon those that have not been so much. Simple things such as iodizing salt and providing de-worming for school children results in increasing IQs by 10 points! Providing school uniforms seems to result in girls staying in school at least a year longer. All of these things have a positive ripple effect in a community.
I really wish I could paraphrase the whole book. Sadly, I can’t do that. I do strongly urge you to look for it though. I snagged this copy from the library, but I do intend to purchase my own copy. There were bits I wanted to underline & write margin notes on. Libraries frown on that.
The book concludes with so much information on how to get involved. There are websites for each of the groups mentioned. I am in the process of exploring these groups. Again, as I said in a previous post, I know I cannot give to them all. I must pick, but educating myself can go a long way too.
http://www.halftheskymovement.org/
I spent most of this weekend at the hospital. Not because I was sick, but b/c I was volunteering for research. Sound ick? It was a bit actually. I spent 3 days giving blood, doing breathing tests (I’m asthmatic, that was what the study was about) and doing a bunch of other tests. The middle day had loads of wait time. I had to inhale something that would trigger an attack, then wait various intervals of time for them to gauge my lung capacity and breath force. Towards the end of the day, I was giving one big lungful of breath through a tube, then having to wait an hour to do it over again. So! I read a whole book!
If I am recalling it accurately, I do believe I first learned of this book off the “A Thousand Sister’s” fb page. It was touted as a must read, so I reserved it at the library and had it in my hands a week later. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. (I’m the type who will rent movies or get books based on recommendations – I tend not to watch previews. Thus, I am often very surprised by content – both good and sometimes not so great)
The sub title on the front cover is “Turning oppression into opportunity for Women worldwide”. It covers many extremely difficult topics. Some I was vaguely familiar with, others I had heard about, but didn’t really know what was involved and then others that I was actually surprised about – b/c I had no clue the issue existed.
Consider the cost of allowing half a country’s human resources to go untapped. An African proverb states – “If you teach a boy, you educate an individual; if you teach a girl, you educate a community” The issues discussed in this book have for too long been just referred to as “Women’s Issues”. However, they do not only affect women. There are entire cultures that are involved in the imbalanced view that women are somehow less valuable than men. Weren’t we all created equal? A Chinese proverb states that women hold up half the sky.
This book covers issues such as child trafficking for the sex industry, rape, honour killings, Female genital cutting, beatings, child marriage, maternal mortality and others. Tying in with psychologist findings stating that people will have a greater capacity to care when they are introduced to individuals, the authors pull in story after story accompanied by photos of the girls & women we are told about. The stories are disturbing and this is not a light hearted read by any extent. The conditions described are beyond sad. However, there is light.
This book is also full of HOPE! While so many of the stories of these individuals do not suggest anything good may exist in the midst, it really does. For each of these oppressive journeys, we are also meeting so people who have come along side them. Many of these people are exactly like you and me. They read something, or saw something that moved them to action. Many of these things started small, but gradually grew. Mahatma Gandi was quoted “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”
There are men & women who have dedicated themselves to freeing women in this world. Change is slow – especially when entire cultures are involved, but baby steps are worth celebrating. And, for the women who have been helped, their lives are forever changed for the better.
Women are being empowered to stand up for themselves, learn their rights and a skill. Countries that have embraced this are thriving.
This book explains approaches that have been effective, and reflects upon those that have not been so much. Simple things such as iodizing salt and providing de-worming for school children results in increasing IQs by 10 points! Providing school uniforms seems to result in girls staying in school at least a year longer. All of these things have a positive ripple effect in a community.
I really wish I could paraphrase the whole book. Sadly, I can’t do that. I do strongly urge you to look for it though. I snagged this copy from the library, but I do intend to purchase my own copy. There were bits I wanted to underline & write margin notes on. Libraries frown on that.
The book concludes with so much information on how to get involved. There are websites for each of the groups mentioned. I am in the process of exploring these groups. Again, as I said in a previous post, I know I cannot give to them all. I must pick, but educating myself can go a long way too.
http://www.halftheskymovement.org/
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